The one thing I do care about in relation to the team is the fact that they used to have some of the sickest jerseys in the NBA, but squandered them due to a serious bout of PC. The Washington Bullets were just marvelous, but not nearly as marvelous as their jerseys. Many may not be huge fans of the stripes, but I think they add serious character to the team. Just compare these to each other:
It's not even close in terms of awesomeness.
Aesthetics aside, another reason the Wizards are neutral to me is because they don't possess any sort of like-a-bility or hate-a-bility. Sure, Gilbert Arenas is a thoughtful, entertaining guy, and Antawn Jamison is a former Tar Heel, but do they really have any sort of plucky, underdog character? Have they ever been truly relevant playoffs-wise (before my birth doesn't count)?
Maybe the drab blue is getting to me, but I don't see any reason to follow them.
See, this can be applied to the entire NBA. Heading into a season, you can correctly predict who the playoff teams are with about 95% confidence. There are very rarely decided underdog teams who sweep through the playoffs and win, or even make, the championship. There's a reason the Golden State Warriors are the only #8 seed to win a playoff series. You know heading in that the Lakers will be good and the Knicks will be bad.
In this NBA, it's difficult to love or hate non-hometown teams that aren't among the elite group. As a neutral observer up north, I can only come up with hate for the Spurs, Lakers, and Mavericks. These were all top teams when I became a basketball fan. Likewise, I can only truly love the Raptors (hometown), Suns (Steve Nash), and Cavaliers (default elite group favourite).
Where do the Wizards fall in? Nowhere. They're just among the dregs of my apathy. If I had really noticed Michael Jordan's comeback with them, or become a fan of Gilbert Arenas, then they might be somewhere else. But right now, I'm apathetic. Kinda like how I am with the NBA until the playoffs.
Missed Opportunity
Yesterday, as a member of Tar Heel faithful, I was following Harrison Barnes' announcement of his college choice with bated breath. When I saw that he chose North Carolina, I was ecstatic. Visions of the 6'8" swingman and Ed Davis combining for another Tar Heel National Championship filled my mind.
However, the whole process of making the announcement really fascinated me. Barnes set up a stand in his high school gym, and set up a table with the pictures of all the schools he was debating between, along with a video screen. He packed the gym with friends, family, and ESPN cameras. He then announced his choice in front of a national audience, to wild cheers and tears.
When I watched this, I thought back to my own college decision. I think it was done over my kitchen table, after my parents had just asked me where I wanted to go. The only camera in the room was plugged into the chargers. Afterwards, I announced my decision on Facebook, a few people gave me their congratulations, and I went back to playing Wii.
All in all, I wish I'd done it the Barnes way (or, rather, the "every college football or basketball prospect" way). Picture the Merivale High School gym lined with friends, family, and admirers. I'm sitting at a table with King's, McGill, Ryerson, and Carleton hats in front of me. I walk to the front dressed in my pinstriped suit, thank everyone for coming, pause for suspense, put on the King's hat, and say that I'm ready to join the King's family. CBC interviews my grandparents: "We thought he'd be a law student but we're so happy for him", the producers cut to shots of bitter Ryerson journalism professors, and everything is amazing.
Any way I could do that over?
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